A School Parent’s 10 Commandments

Time to lace up the saddle shoes and inhale the sweet smell of leather. A new school year is here. And I am in total denial.

But, we forge ahead, for there are papers to write, drawings to color, books to read and tests to take. We’ve been at this “first day of school” gig for about 12 years now, since my oldest began preschool at age two. Now, he’s a sophomore in high school. His five other siblings are right behind him in middle, elementary and pre-school.

We’ve learned a few things – mostly the hard way – on how to have a great year. My mistakes are your lessons. Let’s break it down, shall we?

#1: Take it up with the teacher. None of us is perfect, it’s painfully true. When you have an issue with your teacher, for the love of all that’s good and holy, talk to the teacher first. Sometimes our initial instinct is to take it to the top and justify your message by saying, “The principal/superintendent/dean needs to know about this.” Possibly. But, unless your child’s life is in danger, work your way up the chain. Ultimately, we all want to be respected and valued. Give your teacher the benefit of the doubt.

#2: Decide what hill you want to die on. If I got my panties in a twist about ALL THE THINGS I would be in trouble. When something arises with your kids in the education hamster wheel, ask yourself one question, “Is this a hill I want to die on?” In other words, just how important is it? That can usually be answered with this question: “Is this a salvation issue?” If not, simmer down, mama, and sleep on your concern and say a prayer to the Holy Spirit to guide your words. That always gives me added perspective.

#3: Employ the 24-hour rule. Have a grievance? Wait 24 hours before you act. If your child’s life is in danger, act a little faster.

#4: Be quick to praise. Did the school just make a curriculum or schedule change that just made you and your kid’s life exponentially easier? Spread the praise! Did a teacher go above and beyond, an event bring you to tears (the good kind) or did the school really knock it out of the park on something? Tell them. Y’all, we all need to feel the love from time to time. Don’t be shy.

#5: Easy with social media. Once upon a time I got cocky on social media and guess what? Kathryn got a phone call from the front office. Ouch. The circumstances don’t really matter, nor is what I said of particular importance. The lesson, however, was learned. I had a concern but rather than air the dirty laundry on FB, I should’ve marched my hiney to the office and had a face-to-face convo. Those are always better than social. Always. And, it’s our family rule, but I generally shy away from social media class groups. For me, it’s 1) a huge time suck and 2) an opportunity to get pulled into the gossip train. Neither are good for me, so I bow out. Speaking of social…

#6: Wait to follow/friend/like your child’s teacher on social media until after the year is over. You never really know someone until you’ve spent time together. I’ll admit, it’s easy to do a Google search and make an assumption about someone. Guilty, I do it all the time. Let’s not be that parent. If someone Googled you and based an entire assumption of your whole person based on one post/tweet/photo/snap, would it be accurate? I’m thinking more like, sobering.

#7: Love where you are. When I was going through sorority rush at A&M, I was fretting about what house to join. {I know, life was really rough back then.} My mom reminded me that I would never know what I was missing in the other house if I was loving the one I was in. My reality was determined by my attitude, not my geographical location. If you want to see change, BE change.

#8: Don’t bail out your kids. Did they forget their lunch, water bottle, band instrument, homework, PE shoes, class project? If you haven’t already gotten that phone call, you will. Y’all, let me be the first to tell you that your child will not wither away and die if you respond to that phone call with: “Honey, I love you and I’m so happy you called. While I cannot bring said item to you, I know you’ll remember it next time. Have a great day.” Do I think you’re a bad parent if you do bring it up? Hardly. But the name of the game here is responsibility. Your kids have to learn it sometime and best if they learn it from a loving parent.

#9: Label all the things. Well, just the ones you care about. Because my children wear uniforms to school, do you know how many blue blazers and gray sweatshirts there are? Answer: one million. A cute label or a plain sharpie will do the trick. You’ll thank yourself later.

#10: Find your people. We all need a band of cheerleaders. There is a small group of moms with whom I trust my biggest fears and greatest challenges and they are my lifeline. We laugh on the good days and drink margaritas on the bad ones. True story. Find your band and never let them go. They will get you through every season of motherhood, that I promise.

I would be remiss without mentioning how much prayer plays a major role in my vocation of motherhood, and particularly with the education of my children. It lies within each one of these commandments. It guides my words, my thoughts and my reactions. I’m no perfect parent, but I’m a better one when I pray first.

God bless y’all as you start a new school year. No matter what it brings, I pray it brings you closer to your kids, your community and your maker. After all, that’s the stuff that matters.