Shout Out…and a late night confession

First, let’s get to the shout out.  I have a friend, well…we’ve only met once, talked a couple of times on email, we stalk one another in cyberspace and she’s married to a former client of mine.  Let’s just say how we know one another is complicated.  No matter.  She is a kindred spirit in the writing world and she just got published!  I encourage you to check out her article here, on the Busted Halo website (a client of mine, by the way!)  Vanessa is a very talented writer and I love her conversational, witty, human tone.  I could read her stuff all day.  And, I love the moral of her story in the article.  Beautifully written, my dear.

Now to the late night confession.

I feel like a really bad mom.  Ok, hold the phones, I’m not seeking comments that say, “Oh, Kathryn, you’re such a great mom.”  Just hear me out.  Our instinct as moms is to ‘make it all better’, am I right?  Can I hear an Amen?  The whole Luke sleeping thing – or lack thereof – is really starting to get to me.  We had three doctor visits this week and, still, I’m anxious.  Scott is traveling until tomorrow, so I’m flying solo.  There’s something about solo flight that makes one dig deep and just deal.  Tonight, though, I had to get frustrated.  But instead of crying, I found myself praying.  And you’ll never guess whose intercession I sought.

Mary, Mother of God.

Ok, by my very nature I’m not a huge rosary prayer.  I know how to do it and even have some beautiful and meaningful rosaries.  But it’s just been in the last several months that I’ve found myself wondering just how she did it.  How did she say “Yes” to Gabriel?  How did she birth a baby with no drugs?  How did she raise the Messiah so beautifully?  Did she ever put him in timeout?  If he screamed at her, did she scream back?How did she watch him suffer on the cross? 

Beats me.  But she did it.  And I am inspired and honored.  Honored that in some of my darkest moments, I’ve implored her intercession.  I’ve asked her to guide my thoughts, my actions and my words as a mom.  I hope that confession doesn’t freak out my non-Catholic readers.  I’ll be clear.  Not into Mary worshipping.  Totally into Mary honoring.  I figure if anybody knows how to be a mom, she’s the one. 

Scott gave me this beautiful painting for Christmas – darn it all if I can’t find the photo.  (I’ll post it tomorrow).  It’s of a mom nursing her newborn baby.  Everytime I look at that painting, I think of two things:  1) how much I love my husband and 2) the unconditional love between a mother and a child.

As we journey down the Luke path, I pray that I will be a better mother tomorrow than I am today.