Oh, there have been some moments when I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. I’ve gotten “the look” from so many strangers on a myriad of topics it’s just not even funny. Well, ok, maybe a little funny. I usually bite my tongue (sometimes not), but on the van ride over to Mother’s Day Out yesterday, I thought, “Hey, what if I had a t-shirt that said THAT?” Thus, today’s top ten was born. May I present…
TOP TEN: T-SHIRTS I WISH I HAD
1. In public with the kids: No need to recount. Your math is correct. I have 5 kids.
2. While breastfeeding: Would you want to eat YOUR lunch in the bathroom?
3. While driving my minivan: Don’t judge the minivan. It’s functional. Someday I’ll get my Mini Cooper.
4. Regarding Luke’s petite stature: Oh, he’s just small for his age because I feed him skim milk.
5. Regarding my Catholic faith: I’m not a freak, I’m just Catholic. And, no, I do not worship Mary.
6. At Mass: Don’t look at me like that when my kid screams. Yours did it too.
7. On the state of our really neglected yard: I know it looks bad. Just wait ’til the fall. Then we’ll be the Jones’.
8. Regarding the bags under my eyes: Yes I’m tired. I have a baby in the house.
9. During our next stay at Dell: If you are not one of the following specialists, you may not see my son: Gastroenterologist, Pediatric Surgeon, Hematologist, Cardiologist, Nephrologist, Neurosurgeon or General Pediatrician.
10. On adding to our family: I don’t know if we’re having another baby. Ask the man in charge. He works upstairs.