Top Ten: Shirts I Wish I Had

Oh, there have been some moments when I wanted to say something, but I didn’t.  I’ve gotten “the look” from so many strangers on a myriad of topics it’s just not even funny.  Well, ok, maybe a little funny.  I usually bite my tongue (sometimes not), but on the van ride over to Mother’s Day Out yesterday, I thought, “Hey, what if I had a t-shirt that said THAT?”  Thus, today’s top ten was born.  May I present…


1.  In public with the kids:  No need to recount.  Your math is correct.  I have 5 kids.

2.  While breastfeeding:  Would you want to eat YOUR lunch in the bathroom?

3.  While driving my minivan:  Don’t judge the minivan.  It’s functional.  Someday I’ll get my Mini Cooper.

4.  Regarding Luke’s petite stature:  Oh, he’s just small for his age because I feed him skim milk.

5.  Regarding my Catholic faith:  I’m not a freak, I’m just Catholic.  And, no, I do not worship Mary.

6.  At Mass:  Don’t look at me like that when my kid screams.  Yours did it too.

7.  On the state of our really neglected yard:  I know it looks bad.  Just wait ’til the fall.  Then we’ll be the Jones’.

8.  Regarding the bags under my eyes:  Yes I’m tired. I have a baby in the house.

9.  During our next stay at Dell:  If you are not one of the following specialists, you may not see my son:  Gastroenterologist, Pediatric Surgeon, Hematologist, Cardiologist, Nephrologist, Neurosurgeon or General Pediatrician.

10.  On adding to our family:  I don’t know if we’re having another baby.  Ask the man in charge.  He works upstairs.


  1. amanda on March 31, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    I'll by one in an x-small of 2 and 6. Can you make one for me that says "Yes, I'm a new mother – I'm sure you looked this clueless and ridiculous too."

  2. The Ball's Blog on March 31, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Or how bout this one…"I am a working mom. How do I do it? I don't know, I just do!" "And, no, I don't have mommy guilt." Thank you.

  3. Kristy on March 31, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    I really like the last one 🙂 I am always bothered when I get asked if we're "done"… I have 3 boys and I have no idea, nor would I presume to feel that decision is entirely mine to make. So awkward to answer… I normally just say "whenever God says we're done, then I guess we will be".

    Kristy B

  4. amanda on March 31, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Amen to "The Ball's Blog." How about "Yes, I'm a working mom. Please don't look at me like I just told you really bad news." You so know what look I'm talking about don't you!? 🙂

  5. Verdina Louisa on April 1, 2010 at 12:00 am

    You're amazing… in so many ways!

  6. Makenna on April 1, 2010 at 3:27 am

    You're so hilarious! 🙂 Love to all.

  7. Barb on April 1, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Made my day. I can't wait to see what you write next. These are GREAT. Happy Easter to all!!

  8. The Ball's Blog on April 1, 2010 at 1:06 pm


    Yes, I know that look. Don't you wish you had a SAHM like Mrs. Whitaker to say…"that is fantastic!" I had one person say to me…"I'm so sorry." What am I supposed to say to that!

  9. amanda on April 1, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Just say "I'm not." I had someone tell me I'm an ungodly mother. Oh well. Hehe – we've turned the blog into a Facebook stream! 🙂

  10. Mike K. on April 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    I smell a business opportunity. We'd buy almost every one of those!

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