Kid for sale
Ever been out with your kids when they do something, anything, that puts you in search of the nearest black hole? Well, I found myself in one such predicament this morning.
We headed off to get the kids’ hair cut at the strip mall down the street. You know, the place where there’s a massive HEB, wine store, Starbucks, Quizno’s and a slew of other places. Always busy. Always lots of people. Remember this little tidbit as it’s important in just a moment…
While we were waiting on Scott to pick us up, John Paul mentioned he needed to go potty. (mistake #1) I hear that statement at least two dozen times a day. He wasn’t doing the potty dance, nor had he been repeating the potty mantra. So, I said something like, “Daddy will be here in just a minute buddy and we’ll find a potty then.” (mistake #2) Then, I turned to Anna-Laura who was asking me a question (mistake #3)…and then I heard a funny “watering” sound. I immediately whipped my head around to see my darling, loving, funny little boy with his underwear and shorts around his ankles PEEING ON THE SIDEWALK. Yep, for all the world to see.
What was I supposed to do? Tell him to stop peeing? I did – so smart. He started laughing. And, I so wanted to join him. But, I needed to be a parent and I would’ve lost all credibility and surely started a “hey, let’s pee in public peeing spree”. And our household does not need that. So, I tried to pull up his pants and underwear while balancing Clare on one hip and shielding his cute little hiney from the greater Austin area.
We had a talk after he sat in timeout and I turned the other way to get the giggles out of my system.
Bidding starts at $5…on second thought, I think we’ll keep him. He is good for a lotta laughs around here.
Have a great weekend…
that is hilarious! how did you compose yourself?! I can totally see the look on his face!!!!
That is a pretty funny story. Cory thought this part of your story “What was I supposed to do? Tell him to stop peeing? I did – so smart. He started laughing. And, I so wanted to join him.” meant that you wanted to join him peeing on the sidewalk!
i’m so glad this has happened to someone else! we made the mistake of showing jake how to go outside by a tree or a bush in anemergency situation thinking we were actually helping our little ocd child avoid future freak-outs…and then he pulled a similar stunt. so funny kathryn!!!
jennifer, i’m um (ahem) in my pants right now thinking about how my dangling participle or my misplaced adjective caused such a belly laugh…;-)
Love that John Paul.
[…] deep, deep recesses – of my brain. The interwebs have made me funny again! May I present “Kid for Sale” which originally appeared on the blog back in 2008. That was a lifetime ago. Finish that drink of […]