40 Weeks, I Made It!
If you had told me 39 weeks ago that I would make it to 40 weeks with this pregnancy, I would’ve laughed my ever-lovin’ head off. Sometimes God takes your prayer requests seriously.
After I wrote Monday’s post on Sunday evening, I swore off social media and the blog. Because, you know, I was totally going to have this baby on or before my due date. That was my plan. Might I add that it had color-coded sticky notes for God and everything? It’s just that the chorus of “haven’t you had that baby yet?” was really beginning to wear on me and I knew social media would only make it worse.
The last couple of days have been particularly hard for me. There have been the on again-off again contractions, the hormones, the expectations, the anticipation, the worry, the fear – all of it. After my Tuesday morning visit with my OB, we scheduled a c-section in case Baby Whitaker doesn’t make the debut on his/her own and that news sent me down a whole new path of anxiety. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. I knew the day was coming when we might have to do that, but I just never thought it would actually come.
With each new delivery thought, each contraction that wasn’t coming, I was building this crazy wall of anxiety. Like Great Wall of China big. And it was just destroying my joy. I joked with Scott that I wanted to hibernate and not come out until the baby was born. But it wasn’t really a joke.
But I can also tell you that there have been many moments of grace and reflection. The foot massages by a dear friend who is training to be a midwife (she knows all the good pressure points to induce labor!), confession with our priest, sweet singing Dominicans, the loveliest of texts and phone calls and the just right conversation with the just right friend at the just right moment.
Today, I was sitting in the backyard enjoying the most glorious of afternoons. The kids were playing a round of kickball and having a blast. The birds were chirping, Pandora was playing and I was reminded of something Scott said this weekend. He was making his way through the house, picking up laundry to drop in the washer and he turned to me and said, “We sure do have a good life.” I just smiled because he speaks the truth. It’s messy and I’ve been crying more than usual, but God has allowed us to build a pretty awesome sauce kind of life.
As I was lamenting to our priest about my fears and worries about this delivery (one of these days I will apologize to him for all my crying and sniffling and ridiculous hormones), he said something to me that I keep repeating to myself.
“You know, Kathryn,” he said, “whenever you deliver this baby, God will be in that moment. In fact, He’s already there.” God’s love and mercy is timeless. I keep thinking of ways I can induce labor (trust me, I’ve tried them all except castor oil, because EW!), stuff I can clean and organize, errands I need to run, but ultimately my timeline isn’t what matters. Each hour a part of my plan is getting changed and with each hour I’m letting go of a tiny bit of my death grip on perfection.
So, this really WILL be my last post until the baby arrives. And, I really have sworn off social media until then. If I’m a little slow to respond to your texts or calls, comments or emails, it’s not because I’m not reading them and loving them, I’m just trying to enjoy these final few days. Heather, my best friend from high school, sent me a note today and I think it’s worth sharing with each of you.
[Being pregnant] is like Christmas when the beautiful packages are wrapped, the anticipation is palpable and you can’t seem to wait another minute. Yet, when you unwrap them you can’t ever go back to those thrilling moments before. Pregnancy and birth are both unlike anything else in this life! Love that!
Thank you for praying for us, being excited with us and feeling our anticipation and joy. And, also, if you’d like to change diapers at 3am I will totally let you do that. Because I’m a giver.
Get excited, y’all. The next post from me will be baby news!!
Sooo excited for you, you relax and enjoy these last days of pregnancy, can’t wait for your next post! Thank you for bringing our intentions into labor with you, you are in our prayers as well.
You’re in my prayers, and you’ve got this, girl.
I basically avoided contact with all but a select few from 38 weeks with #2 because I do not handle the “baby yet” comments with grace… And then my silly fear if being induced was realised and I learned that God knew what He was doing, even if I was 12 days past the date I’d clung to, because it sparked natural labour and she came so quickly I’d have struggled to get to the hospital. So hang in there and try to relax into God’s timing. He knows what He’s about 🙂
I wish you an easy last few hours/days and will be praying. Can’t wait to see your good news on here!
I do pray for you to have a good delivery and I am waiting for the first pictures of this new baby and you. Yesterday, my children were in Lourdes (France) and pray. Ask Virgin Mary to ask for you the strength to be the mother of another child, because you will be another mother.
Good delivery and be home soon !
Lourdes – awesome!!! Your prayers are so appreciated.
I love what Heather said. Wise words! I remember when my oldest daughter was getting married. A week before the wedding we are sitting with the wedding planner at the reception site finalizing plans. My daughter said,” I just want to get married!” My wise husband looked at her and said, ” Elizabeth, enjoy this last week, the planning, the parties, and being with family. When the day comes it will be joyous, but it will also be over and you will never have this time and joy again.”
So yes, as much as I know you are ready. Basked in the joy of this time. Those tummy rubbing moments with this baby will never come again.
I thank you for praying for my back. Jump over to my post today and see some progress. Your prayers are grace!
Continuing to pray for you and your new little one!
And if you have to have a c-section, please know that it is not the end of the world. After I delivered Peter, I actually grieved the loss of my perfect delivery for several months. But now, looking back 11 1/2 years later, I understand that a healthy baby and healthy mom are really all that matter! But boy was I upset about it at the time!
I love the wise words from your priest. And I too should probably apologize to my priest for the confession I gave him before I had Rebecca. It wasn’t pretty!
So excited for you and your family. I can’t wait to ‘hear’ the good news! Blessings for a healthy, safe delivery for you both!!
Congrats on 40 weeks! Way to go, mama! I am looking forward to your next birth story 🙂
So excited for you, Kathryn! You are in my thoughts and prayers for a safe delivery, and a healthy Baby W! Hugs!
I am SO excited to “meet” your little one!!!!!
And then I actually get to meet you all this summer! Yay!
You have such wise friends! I especially like what Heather said. You, obviously, have many prayers coming your way. Sending hugs and prayers. Looking forward to the next post (& pictures)!
Congratulations on making it to 40 weeks! Continued prayers for you and Baby Whitaker. May Mama Mary bring you peace and joy before, during, and after Baby’s arrival! Can’t wait to hear the news and see pictures. 🙂
I’ve been reading your blog for the past couple weeks. Hang in there, I’m 41 &1/2 weeks along with baby #2 and I was sure I was going to deliver a couple weeks ago (before you:) did). Well it looks like its a May baby for us. I guess I’ve moved on since I’m past my due date, and started new projects and basicaly figured baby can’t stay in there forever but I’m not going to let the wait ruin my day.
God bless, and congrats!
So exciting! I hope you’re indeed soaking in these last moments before baby and that your delivery goes (went?) smoothly and safely. God bless!
Yaaaayy! Sending prayers your way.
The suspense is killing me! I need updates!
That makes two of us 🙂 No news yet!
I would so come change diapers and give snuggles at 3am if I was anywhere close to Texas! I had help like that for some of those late nights with my first 2 and it was glorious. Still prying for you up here is Washington!