Kids Do the Darndest Things
Alright, after the tears the last two days, I’ve had some requests to lighten it up. Sorry, y’all. Told ya that September was going to be like this.
This is an oldie, but goodie. Thank goodness for the blog or this story might’ve been lost in the recesses – deep, deep recesses – of my brain. The interwebs have made me funny again! May I present “Kid for Sale” which originally appeared on the blog back in 2008. That was a lifetime ago. Finish that drink of coffee, this is a good one.
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Ever been out with your kids when they do something, anything, that puts you in search of the nearest black hole? Well, I found myself in one such predicament this morning.
We headed off to get the kids’ hair cut at the strip mall down the street. You know, the place where there’s a massive HEB, wine store, Starbucks, Quizno’s and a slew of other places. Always busy. Always lots of people. Remember this little tidbit as it’s important in just a moment…
While we were waiting on Scott to pick us up, John Paul mentioned he needed to go potty. (mistake #1) I hear that statement at least two dozen times a day. He wasn’t doing the potty dance, nor had he been repeating the potty mantra. So, I said something like, “Daddy will be here in just a minute buddy and we’ll find a potty then.” (mistake #2) Then, I turned to Anna-Laura who was asking me a question (mistake #3)…and then I heard a funny “watering” sound. I immediately whipped my head around to see my darling, loving, funny little boy with his underwear and shorts around his ankles PEEING ON THE SIDEWALK. Yep, for all the world to see.
What was I supposed to do? Tell him to stop peeing? I did – so smart. He started laughing. And, I so wanted to join him. But, I needed to be a parent and I would’ve lost all credibility and surely started a “hey, let’s pee in public peeing spree”. And our household does not need that. So, I tried to pull up his pants and underwear while balancing Clare on one hip and shielding his cute little hiney from the greater Austin area.
We had a talk after he sat in timeout and I turned the other way to get the giggles out of my system.
Bidding starts at $5…on second thought, I think we’ll keep him. He is good for a lotta laughs around here.
Have a great weekend…
Reminds me of our son Jamie. His grandma used to live on 40 acres and being a farm boy my hubby told him when we are at Grandma’s house you can pee outside 🙂 Well Grandma moved from the farm into town after Grandpa died. We were up visiting her about 2 weeks later and Jamie, age 3, was playing outside when the phone rang, the neighbor lady called and wanted to let us know “Jamie was watering the flowers and it wasn’t with a hose:)” I ran outside and said you can’t do that Jamie. His reply “Daddy said when I am at Grandma’s I can pee outside!!!” We had to have a long discussion about now Grandma lives in town and has neighbors and that’s just not okay. Jamie was one ticked off little guy and we would hear about it each time we visited her (like once a month or so). Thanks for the memories of some of the crazy things our kids have done 🙂
This. is. classic. I hope you don’t every forget this story, and someone tells it on his wedding day 🙂
Don’t you worry. I’ll be the one telling it! Even better if we tell it at his priestly ordination 🙂
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We have a similar story: We live in the country, out where its not uncommon for the males to, ahem, relieve themselves out behind a tree, etc. while outside working. Not too big a deal, until one day when I picked up our 3 year old son and was told that while out on the playground that day they caught him peeing over by a bush along the fence. The funniest part? When we had a “talk” with him, he said, “but I turned my back to the girls!” This son is now a senior in high school – thanks for refreshing my memory!