Speechless

Hard to believe if you know me well…but that’s how I’ve felt all day.

Speechless #1:  doctor’s visit with Luke
Luke is a healthy and happy 6lb. 8oz.  Yes, he’s almost doubled his birth weight!  And, he gained 16oz in 13 days.  To quote Dr. Enders, ‘what an over achiever’.  Love it.  And, I was speechless about his amazing progress.

Speechless #2:  fall in the parking lot
Yes, on my way to doctor visit #2, I completely bit it in the parking lot…with Luke in my arms.  Thankfully, he was safely buckled in the car seat and my knees took the brunt of the fall.  He screamed and I cried.  For a split second, just a few moments before I fell, I almost turned back to the van to take him out of the car seat and put him in the sling.  And then I didn’t.  Can you imagine?  I did and it left me speechless.

Speechless #3:  we had to change Luke’s ostomy bag THREE times in less than 2 hours.
Not good odds.  I was all set to make today’s post a rant about how much I h-a-t-e changing his bag (the contraption we have on his belly that collects his poop until his colon is reconnected to his small intestine).  Then, I had speechless event #5.

Speechless #4:  John Paul punched Clare in the face
Sigh.  Speechless.

Speechless #5:  Some friends, also in the NICU, sent their precious daughter, Catherine, to heaven this afternoon
Kinda makes changing that bag seem pretty inconsequential now.  Speechless.

Why does one baby leave the NICU in his mother’s arms and another head straight to Jesus’?  Why does one set of siblings spend the entire day helping mom ‘take care’ of the new baby while another set spends the day watching mom and dad make funeral arrangements?  Why?

Damned if I know.

If your house isn’t clean and you have company coming over for Thanksgiving and you’re stressed out…don’t be.  Just spray some Lysol and Clorox wipe the toilets.

If your kids are fighting and you want to scream…don’t.  Just say a Hail Mary and walk outside.

If you haven’t packed for that trip you’re taking tomorrow and your list of ‘to-dos’ is a mile long and you want to scream, take a timeout.  Anything you forget can be bought at Wal-Mart.

If you’re 9 months pregnant, feeling tired and don’t feel like you can take one more day…be thankful you have a healthy baby growing inside while God prepares the perfect due date.  Today, a woman will long to be in your shoes.

If you’re a post-partum, post-NICU graduate Mom who has high expectations – for everything in life – cut yourself some slack.  Enjoy your kids and let the rest go.

Ahem.  Yes, I have been each and every one of those.  Been there.  Done that.

Just yesterday Scott sent me the name of a counselor to call so we could explore professional counseling to process this whole NICU/special needs thing.  I was feeling so confident that I didn’t even read the email.  Then today happened.  Not doing quite as well as I thought.

As you gather around your Thanksgiving table on Thursday, give thanks for all things in life.  The good and the bad.  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Top Ten and offer up a prayer for the Simmons family tonight, please.  They need your prayers of strength…