Top Ten: Travel fears

Wondered where we were? I’m in super-fantastic packing mode. We’re getting ready to leave for Indiana for Easter and I’m freaking out. You should see the million organized piles around our house. They’re organized, but they’re everywhere. I feel like I’m packing for an army, preparing for the worst possible scenario. The kids all have extra changes of clothes and we’re carrying on the Easter outfits because I’m convinced that if we don’t our luggage will end up in Hawaii. Which, by the way, is where Scott and I will wish we are about 20 minutes into the flight. Melikalikimaka…

In honor of my momentary freak-out session, allow me this luxury…to share my top 10

THINGS I HOPE THE KIDS DON’T SAY DURING THE SECURITY CHECK

1. “I need to go potty.”

2. “Why couldn’t we bring our rubberband gun?”

3. “I left my backpack at the check-in counter/van/bathroom.” (insert high-pitched screaming here)

4. Body slam one another to the ground. Ok, not exactly a quote, but it could get ugly.

5. “John Paul just picked his nose and wiped his booger on me.” Go ahead and laugh, but it did make #5. I give it 1 in 2 odds of happening.

6. “WHERE’S MY BABY?” Anna-Laura is attached at the hip to this thing. I’m praying she doesn’t go ballistic when they put it through the x-ray machine. Maybe she’ll buy the “baby is going on an adventure and will be back in a minute” story…

7. “Why did the Easter’s bunny put our baskets in our luggage?” OK, this is seriously my biggest fear. I’ve been incognito for weeks on this. If those TSA security people ruin the Easter Bunny surprise for my kids, I’ll probably make the paper. “Crazy lady attacks security with Hershey kisses and plastic eggs.”

8. “Dad, wasn’t that cool when the Imperial Star Destroyer blew up the other ships?” Will talks about Star Wars incessently. Let’s hope he waits until we get to the gate on this one.

9. “I need to go potty, again.”

10. “I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

Whew, now that I’ve written them down, they won’t happen right? I’m sure I’ll have many, many stories from our trip to the Hoosier State. Until then, pray for safe travels and have a Happy Easter!